Weapons that Keep You Breathing
The only good weapon is one that works when everything else fails. Magic? Unreliable. Fancy techniques? Get you killed. I’ve seen too many good fighters die because they trusted something that wasn’t steel and muscle. Here’s what actually keeps you alive when the world wants you dead.
Hammers
Hammers work best for heavy armor, but that’s just the start. Everything is a hammer if you hit hard enough. Your shield? Hammer. That smaller enemy you just picked up? Hammer. Rock, stick, boot – all hammers. People think hammers are just for building things. Wrong. Hammers are for ending things. Fast.
Where Trouble Finds You
Fighting isn’t something you chose. It’s something that chooses you – and knowing where battles happen keeps you breathing.
01
Wilderness
Wilderness doesn’t care if you’re scared. Beasts hunt to eat, not to play. Get close, hit hard.
Preferred Weapons:
– Heavy Axe for ripping through fur and hide
– Hammer for crushing bone
– Anything that lets you get close and personal
02
Roads & Traveling
Bandits think they’re clever. Show ’em they’re not. Make an example that makes others think twice.
Preferred Weapons:
– Axe (scary and efficient)
– Anything you can throw
– Weird objects that make people hesitate like anchors or planks of wood
03
Battlefields
Battlefields are chaos. Magic users think they’re special. They’re not. Kill what moves and doesn’t wear the same color as you.
Preferred Weapons:
– Hammer for heavy armor
– Axe for versatility
– Anything that breaks formations
– Your won head (headbutts surprise everyone)
Uncut advice
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About Sir Threign
It had been my intention to collaborate with Lord Skymantle on a comprehensive analysis of weapons and their tactical applications. Between my lifelong training and Reginald’s extensive experience with conflict, we believed ourselves well-suited to catalog sword specifications, guard configurations, combat methodologies, and notable practitioners.
Then Sir Threign arrived carrying an anchor and inquired whether it should be classified as a hammer or an axe.
We have since delegated all matters of martial weaponry to Sir Threign, whose practical approach proves far more suited to the task’s varied complexities. There exists no weapon that Dacius cannot master within three attempts. I have complete confidence in his ability to provide guidance that exceeds our more… theoretical preparations.
217%
Average cost above what was budgeted
103%
Sir Threign has been credited with completing jobs he was not even assigned
12+
Uses of Alternative Weapons. 1 Side of Building, 1 Anchor, 1 Wagon Wheel, 1 Fence Post, and more short people than he can count
0 Times
Sir Threign would like it known he has never been decapitated
weapons that you shouldn’t use
These are no good
Sir Threign insisted that this section be included despite Lord McAllister’s objections.
Only for the scrawny or the scared. Real fighting happens up close where you can look your enemy in the eye. If you need distance, you’re already admitting you can’t handle a proper fight.
Ranged Weapons
Too small, too weak. Use proper weapons. A dagger is what you use when you’ve lost everything else. Why start a fight already planning to lose?
Daggers
Magic fails when you need it most. I’ve seen too many good fighters die because they trusted some enchanted nonsense over good steel and strong arms. Magic is a crutch for people who won’t do the real work.
Magic
If You’re Good Enough
Allen Dawning
I know what sorts of hell Dawning must have seen so I talk at him with tact and grace and all that.
If anyone fit a rifle, it were him. Everyone says Muazir and bows, but I never seen Dawning with a bow. Rifle he threads like a master swordsman.
Dawning’s not just the rifle. He goes for the kill. Professional hunter that. Professional soldier. Never seen aught quite like it.
Nesta Lace
Lace has doubts. She is going to get herself killed with all the weapons she uses.
Impressive that she can use them all, but a killing blow with an axe is worth more than scratches with a dozen knives.
She’s fast enough to reach her foe and dangerous enough to kill them.
Jin Brightwad
Using magic is bad enough.
Not that I have anything against the gods and all that, but relying on miracles to do the heavy lifting for you? Don’t need a miracle.
Need a strong back, and that orqani has a stronger one than most.
Training: How not to Die
Lord McAllister argued that this section was unnecessary, that Champions were already trained professionals. Sir Threign, with his characteristic bluntness, insisted the page remain. “Magic fails,” he said, “Bodies don’t. I’ve seen too many good fighters die because they trusted some spell more than their own legs. A Champion who can’t run is just a target waiting to be hit.” When pressed further, he simply stared until Lord McAllister reluctantly acquiesced – a negotiation tactic that has become somewhat legendary within the guild.
Running
“Magic fails. Your legs don’t. Run one mile minimum, three if you’re smart. When your fancy spells stop working, you better hope you can outrun what’s chasing you.”
Strength Training
“Weak arms swing weak weapons. Strong arms swing anything. Build muscle or become food – your choice.”
Endurance
“Pretty fighters die first. Tough fighters go home. Train till it hurts, then train some more. Pain in training saves blood in battle.”